Knitters of the world – Beware!


I think it’s very unfair that the media is blaming Australian PM Julia Gillard’s unfortunate job loss on the fact that she was photographed knitting.

Sure I thought the whole knitting thing was a very poor PR stunt.  Presumably it was suggested as a way to soften her image amongst women.  BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WE REALLY WANT, WE WOMEN.  We can’t stand a really strong powerful woman can we?  We want a mumsy old bag with a dog at her feet knitting a toy for the royal baby.  We want old lady hair, pearls round the neck, dress to the knee, glasses on the nose and balls of wool all around.  That’s what we want from our leaders.  Hilary Clinton are you listening?

The worst is that it hasn’t done any favors for the resurgent trendiness of knitting.  Back to the dark ages and granny’s closet you go!  Henceforth, any woman with ambitions to power will have to hide her knitting urge or risk unemployment.

I can see clandestine knitting speakeasies popping up all over the cities, secret codes, knitting needles hidden in the sock.  Old men in raincoats, psst, wanna buy a ball of mohair alpaca blend?  It’s possible to get glow-in-the-dark knitting needles for that CEO forced to knit in the dark with the curtains closed.  Who says we women aren’t innovative.

Instead of knitting a toy for the royal baby, maybe she should have speared her rival through the head with one of those needles.  That’s called playing men at their own game.



South African writer, crafter and all round animal lover
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