I grew up on a plot and we always had several cows. I put my incredibly strong immune system down to the fact that I drank raw cow’s milk for my entire childhood.
One day when one of the cows was kicking at the stall and bellowing in a familiar way, my mother decided to give her children a sex education lesson. When the vet arrived, she gathered us around to watch. The vet said “now I’m going to plant the seed” and put his entire arm up to the elbow into what we thought was the cow’s bum. Horrors! This might explain why my sister and I are resolutely single to this day.
This is the little stuffed cow I’ve put up on etsy today. I couldn’t find cow print so had to paint it myself and therein lies a whole nother story. Suffice it to say that when at last I find cow splodge in the shops, I will buy lots of it, so I never have to paint it again.